Days of a Pokemon Christmas
by animorphs17
Summary: Well... I can't really say much without giving it all away, but Misty sends Ash letters telling him what she thought of his presents each dau of the 12 days of Christmas. Rated R for language.
1. Day 1

The Twelve Days of a Pokemon Christmas  
  
DAY ONE:  
  
Dearest Ash,  
  
I went to the door today and the postman delivered a Pidgey in a pear  
tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn't have been more  
surprised.  
  
With deepest love and affection,  
  
Misty  



	2. Day 2

DAY TWO:  
  
Dearest Ash,  
  
Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine? Two  
Noctowl!! I'm delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just  
too adorable.  
  
My everlasting love,  
  
Misty  



	3. Day 3

DAY THREE:  
  
My Dear Ash,  
  
Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one! Now I actually must protest. I  
don't deserve such generosity-three French Dodrios! They are just darling,  
but I must insist-you've been too, too kind.  
  
All my love,  
  
Misty 


	4. Day 4

DAY FOUR:  
  
Dear Ash,  
  
Today the postman delivered four Calling Spearow. Now really they ARE  
beautiful. But don't you think enough is enough? You are just being too  
romantic.  
  
Love,  
  
Misty 


	5. Day 5

DAY FIVE:  
  
Dear Ash,  
  
What a marvelous surprise! Today the postman delivered five gold rings.  
One for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. To tell  
you the truth, all these birds really squawk a lot and are getting on  
my nerves.  
  
Affectionately,  
  
Misty 


	6. Day 6

DAY SIX:  
  
Ash,  
  
Today the postman knocked and ran. When I opened the door there were  
actually six Pidgeots-a-laying on my front steps. So, you're back on the  
birds again. Those Pidgeots are huge! Where in the name of creation will  
I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, rightfully so, and it is  
impossible to sleep through this racket.  
  
Now let this be the end of this.  
  
Cordially,  
  
Misty 


	7. Day 7

DAY SEVEN:  
  
Ash,  
  
What the hell's with you and these fucking birds?!? Seven  
Farfetch'd-a-swimming? What kind of goddamn joke is this? There's bird shit  
all over the house and they never stop with the racket.  
  
Stop with this sadistic nonsense. This is not funny and I am very  
unhappy.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Misty 


	8. Day 8

DAY EIGHT:  
  
OK Pal ! !  
  
WHAT IN THE SCREAMING HELL AM I GOING TO DO WITH EIGHT MAIDS-A-MILKING?JESUS!!! I THINK I PREFER THE GODDAMN BIRDS! THE GODDAMN MAIDS-A-MILKING HAD TO BRING THEIR GODDAMN MILTANKS. THERE IS MILTANK SHIT ALL OVER MY LAWN AND BIRD SHIT ALL OVER THE HOUSE. I CANNOT MOVE MY FEET.  
  
JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE, SMARTASS. 


	9. Day 9

DAY NINE:  
  
LISTEN SHITHEAD ! !  
  
YOU'RE A SADISTIC BASTARD! NOW I HAVE NINE PINSIRS-PIPING IN MY FRONT YARD AND THEY ARE STANDING KNEE DEEP IN MILTANK SHIT.   
THIS AFTER CHASING THOSE MAIDS ALL NIGHT LONG. CONSEQUENTLY, UPSETTING THE MILTANK TO THE POINT THAT THEY ARE STEPPING ALL OVER THOSE GODDAMN SCREECHING BIRDS. THE NEIGHBORS HAVE STARTED A PETITION TO EVICT ME.  
  
UP YOURS ! ! ! 


	10. Day 10

DAY TEN:  
  
YOU ROTTEN PRICK ! ! !  
  
NOW THERE'S TEN JYNX DANCING. I DON'T KNOW WHY I CALL THOSE SLUTS "LADIES". THEY'VE BEEN BALLING THOSE GODDAMN PINSIRS ALL NIGHT LONG.  
  
NOW THE GODDAMN MILTANK CAN'T SLEEP AND THEY'VE GOT DIARRHEA! EVERYTHING HAS TURNED TO A RIVER OF SHIT ! !  
  
THE COMMISSIONER OF ZONING AND THE BUILDING INSPECTOR HAVE SUBPOENAED ME TO GIVE JUST CAUSE WHY MY HOME SHOULDN'T BE CONDEMNED.  
  
I'M CALLING THE POLICE ! !  
  
I MEAN IT. BY GOD ! 


	11. Day 11

DAY ELEVEN:  
  
LISTEN FUCKHEAD ! ! ! !  
  
NEVER IN MY WILDEST IMAGINATION DID I EVER THINK THAT I WOULD BE WITNESS TO ELEVEN HITMONLEES-A-LEAPING ON THAT MANY MAIDS AND "LADIES."  
  
THEY TOOK THOSE BROADS LIKE GRANT TOOK RICHMOND-- AND THEY WILL NEVER WALK EXACTLY RIGHT AGAIN. I WASN'T THE ONLY WITNESS, BY THE WAY.  
  
THE "60 MINUTES" CAMERA CREW AND STAFF ARE JUST NOW LOADING UP THEIR CAMERA AND EQUIPMENT ON A CHARTERED PLANE AND ARE RACING AGAINST TIME TO HAVE THE FIRST CHRISTMAS SPECIAL ON PAY TV.  
  
FOR THE RECORD, ALL 23 OF THOSE GODDAMN BIRDS ARE DEAD. THEY WERE TRAMPLED TO DEATH IN THE ORGY. AS GOD IS MY WITNESS, SOMEHOW, SOME DAY, I'LL GET YOU ! ! ! !  
  
I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR FUCKING FACE AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE!  
  
MISS MISTY WATERFLOWER 


	12. Day 12

DAY TWELVE:  
  
LAW OFFICES GARY, DUPLICA AND OAK  
Dear Sir:  
  
This is to acknowledge receipt of your latest gift of twelve Dragonites  
drumming, which you have seen fit to inflict upon our client, Miss  
Misty Waterflower.  
  
The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come  
to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss Waterflower at the  
Charter Glade Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot  
you on sight!  
  
With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.  



End file.
